I do understand.
I think I'm a bit lost myself a lot of the time. I've been drifting for a year
towards Penny. Is Penny even out here? Or anywhere at all? Maybe this singular
goal I've been living by has been holding me back. Maybe it's time to move on.
'I think I do fit in here,' I reply,
careful with my words. 'I can't tell you how many times I've felt lost, or
scared, or just convinced I'm being dragged around by people and random events.
I guess the immortality of death is scary - terrifying really. I don't think I
could live here, but what does that say about me? I don't fit in with the
people who don't fit in.'
Sandra walks over to me with the
sort of sad-yet-smiling expression that told me she was a mum back on earth. Or
at least the best auntie you could imagine.
'You have your friends,' she says.
'It'd take an almighty power to break you three up.'
I shrug. I'm in that mood where I
know I'm being obstinate for no good reason. Blaming everything else for my own
problems. I needed to work out what I was doing with my new life. My adventures
so far had shown me new people. Former heroes like Thacker, maniacs like
Teague, the control freaks in Agatha and Windermere, and the peacekeepers here
in the town. This new world is strange and endless, with hidden corners and all
the people who ever died. I have to find my place in it. Sometimes I forget
that with Elle and Yates, I already have.
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